News of no interest whatsoever except to very close and patient friends and family members and maybe people with no life
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| WebJournal - The blog will set you free News of no interest whatsoever except to very close and patient friends and family members and maybe people with no life |
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Thursday, February 19, 2004 I would love to be able to do cocaine. I know I would fall in love with it. No need for food, no need for sleep. Invincibility. Unfortunately I also know I would quickly be snorting it 24/7. An instant addict. This painful awareness is the only reason that has kept me from trying hard drugs. I am not against them in principle. I can't say I see any wrong in good ol' recreational use. But while an extreme personality is a wonderful thing to have and I would not trade my penchant for excess for any kind of perfectly yin-yang balanced boring mood, I know that drugs are off limits for me. At least the ones that matter. I have no inclination towards narcotics. I don't want to dull anything. I like to enhance. This is probably what has helped me not turn into a babbling drunk: I love the heightened reality of the first few drinks. I am really not interested in the drowsiness. And I am not interested in keeping the drowsiness at bay with more booze because I strongly dislike vomiting. Voilá. A very rational functional alcoholic manifesto. I used to smoke cigarettes. When I quit cold turkey I was going through three packs of red Marlboros a day. And of course I inhaled deeply, hardly letting out any smoke. If you are going to do it you might as well do it right. As a teenager, the first time I went from skinny skinny to relatively big a doctor prescribed Tenuate Dospan. I remember all the side effects fondly: the restlessness, the nervousness, the dry mouth. I love that feeling of having electricity running through my body. Same kind of feeling I had when I lived on caffeine and nicotine. Now I get my rush from hot chili peppers. I am not sure this can be considered a step in the right direction though. 11:21 PM
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