News of no interest whatsoever except to very close and patient friends and family members and maybe people with no life
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| WebJournal - The blog will set you free News of no interest whatsoever except to very close and patient friends and family members and maybe people with no life |
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Saturday, January 31, 2004 A perfectly ladylike subject for a blog Normal people pee when they need to. I pee when I am about to burst or too drunk to care. I hate public bathrooms. The hygiene aspect of it leaves a lot to be desired. And I hate walking to a place where everybody else can figure out exactly what I will be doing there. I live under this pretense that nobody else pees but me or, rather, that it's OK for everybody else to pee but it is somehow totally humiliating for me to do it. Airplanes flights are a special nightmare. I pee before I leave and then never again until I get home. It might be a 17 hours stretch. As I am writing this is has been already 7 hours (and several glasses of Pepsi, plus several glasses of water plus a couple of mini bottles of wine). I might wait for the whole plane to fall asleep or I might have to mace them all and then subreptitiously sneak into the john. My runs to the bathroom are legendary as I my "elevator syndrome" (the awful condition that gets me from a mild state of emergency into sheer torture upon stepping into the elevator, where I will be begging, pleading with God, cussing under my breath, trying not to assume unbecoming positions because there's a frigging camera broadcasting my every move to the doormen downstairs, all the way to my floor). Some times I make it, some times I don't. I hope they never install cameras in the hallways. When we lived in Switzerland JP would sometime rent Porsches and the likes on the weekends and maybe go to Germany so he could run on the highways. I would hate it, unless I needed to pee badly. Because stopping at a gas station to relieve myself was not an option he quickly figured out that if he wanted to race all he had to do was fill me up with liquids before leaving. 3:08 PM
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