|WebJournal - The blog will set you free
News of no interest whatsoever except to very close and patient friends and family members and maybe people with no life
Friday, July 30, 2004 Sick chick
A lousy writer with some pretty elemental opinions. Oh, Ann, "pretty-girl allies"? That's so silly. 7:36 AM
Thursday, July 29, 2004 Any good news,please?
Yesterday life sucked. Today it sucked a little less. The weather helped some, the city helped a lot and Cecilia did her part.
Yesterday I already had had a rough afternoon instant messaging Katja in Paris. I updated her on the details of my life and she was so sweet about it I had a real hard time not bawling my eyes out. Then, when I was almost back to normal, the coup de grace: the results from the competitive examination came in and M.A. did not pass it. I am not even going to get into my personal opinion of a pretty fucked up and unfair process. I am going to skip all the details and get straight to the effect it had on me: like a punch in the gut.
Call it overreacting. I'm aware it's a tad ridicoulous, I have to admit it. It's not like it's a huge tragedy. It's not a tragedy at all, actually. He is not devastated. It's not something he desperately wanted. But it still sucks. It sucks a little for him. It sucks big time for me. I really miss the guy when he's not around and it does not look like he will be around much in the future.
So all I really wanted was to get plastered. Went home with Monse and then Pilar came too. I downed quite a few beers very quickly with a clear purpose in mind and a short while later I was where I wanted to be. By the time M.A. knocked at the door I was almost done with social niceties. By 9.30 PM I knew I needed to call it a night and try and sleep it out. I practically kicked them all out.
Today I woke up and on my way to the office somebody threw a gallon or so of water on me. I managed not to get too wet. I was almost expecting to be hit by the proverbial piano too.
I went to get a pedicure after work and screwed up the color on my big toe on my way out. And broke my sunglasses. Have I been jinxed?
Still, today's almost OK. The important thing is not not to feel down, it's not to stay there. It was Thursday today. Out to the terrace at the Sutton Place Bar and a tapas dinner at the Divine Bar. We had the most delicious Greek wine ever: Palivou Vineyard Nemea of '99. Yummy unusual chocolatey stuff.
Joe is coming with him mom on Tuesday. They are staying with me overnight. He's going through a crisis with his wife, she is divorcing her second husband. It's an epidemic. He told me to stock up the fridge with beer, we're going to have long talks. Can't wait. I might take Wednesday off.
Might go to Crobar tomorrow. 11:41 PM
Tuesday, July 27, 2004 Moment of glory
On my way home from the dance class today, sogging wet, I stopped at the supermarket to buy some beer for dinner and ... ta da! They refused to sell it to me because I didn't have a photo I.D.!!!
Three or four years ago this happened somewhat frequently and up to two years ago I was occasionally stopped by bouncers at bars but I must admit it hasn't happened in a while now.
So I had to leave the beer at the market and try at a deli. There the guy looked at me twice before selling it to me. For a moment I thought he was going to ask for an I.D. too and was disappointed when he didn't. Made me wonder was frigging line or sagging feature gave me away! 11:55 PM
0 comments Back from something resembling paradise
Came back from Bermuda (stunning place, perfect weekend, except for the sunburn - more later) yesterday morning, from JFK straight to the office. I left work at about 5.30 PM and by 6.30 PM, after a couple of phone calls, I fell asleep on the bed (as opposed to in bed), fully dressed. Slept all through the evening and the night until this morning at 6 AM when I opened one eye, turned the TV on, watched a bit of Pensacola (Spoon, alias Michael Trucco is a sight to behold) and decided I needed more sleep. Dead to the world until after 9 AM. I am now fully functional again and ready to tackle Derek's class this evening.
Friday, July 23, 2004 Tired tired tired
Worked until 8 PM and then had dinner with Monse, Gonzalo and Monica at an overpriced Lebanese restaurant with the pushiest waiter ever. I had fun though. Gonzalo wants to give the URL for this blog to a friend of his that's into some research project at an university. So much for blogging anonimously.
Now I am packed - sort of - and watching The Real World unaired footage though I should try and sleep and get to the office possibly by 7 AM ... oh gawd ... 12:40 AM
Thursday, July 22, 2004 To blog or not to blog
The problem with blogging is you don't do it in a void. You have to mention the people around you. Some people are around you more than others and they might not like the idea of starring in a web journal. Or they might say they don't care when they do. Or they might not know what the heck they want. So on the aftermath of the party on Friday I found myself in a stupid booze-induced confrontation with a friend I don't want to hurt or piss but seem to have a knack for making upset. I decided to keep the peace and drop the blog.
Now he assures me he does not want me to stop blogging. I can't say I fully believe him and I am afraid this wil be a recurring topic of contention but if I stop now he will get pissed again. It's called a no-win situation.
In a way it's a moot point because I am so damn careful about what I write that it's making for a very lame reading lately.
You wonder who reads you. Total strangers you don't care. They are strangers after all. Close friends you don't care either. They know everything anyways. The problem starts with acquaintances and coworkers. How much is too much? It's not like I blog my drug habits or my masturbation schedule but ... it does not leave much else to talk about ...
Off to Bermuda
M.A. and I are off to Bermuda on Friday, coming back on Monday morning.
I am not taking my iMac, not bringing my iPod, not even my digital camera. First time ever I travel gadget and computer-free. I trust it's going to be OK. I still plan on scrapbooking the trip, probably book-altering the travel guide and then I'll take pictures of it.
I can't believe I agreed to a vacation involving wearing a bathing suit.
My first I thought was that I would skip the beach part, but then I saw photos of the water and quickly came to the conclusion I absolutely could not pass the experience.
The second solution could be to send M.A. to a beach and go to another one myself. That would solve the problem with him but what about the rest of the people? I don't feel comfortable killing the whole island. I did a little soul-searching and realized that if I am the problem, then the solution has to be found within myself: I'll have to start nursing rum swizzle early in the morning so by the time I have to get into the water and take off the shorts or the burka or whatever I feel I need to cover up in I won't care. I will hardly notice the world around me. I just hope the world will still notice me and get me out of the ocean when I start drowning.
A bathing suit is bad enough but a bathing suit and milky white skin with pink piggy undertones is as bad as it gets. That's why, in a mild state of forward-looking panic, I decided to put on some sunless tanning lotion. I've being doing it all my life but of course this time it was late at night and I was half asleep. The morning after, still half asleep, I looked at myself and I was covered in dark patches. I picked up the pumice stone and went at it like I was possessed. Now I look like I have Addison's disease AND I am into cutting myself. It could get worse. I could go bald overnight. Or I could grow hair everywhere. Or Tom Cruise could be sunbathing next to me. 12:57 AM
Monday, July 19, 2004 Hiatus ...
While I rethink this whole blog concept.
Thursday, July 15, 2004 Almost ready
More cooking. Lots of cooking. For once I will not be afraid of not having enough. I don't know where I got this Jewish mother's streak, but I am never satisfied with the amounts of food I prepare for a party. Except maybe this time. This time I think we have enough.
M.A. was very busy in the kitchen yesterday and will be very again today. Monse and I helped along a bit, gulping down beer and wine. It was lovely. There's something soothing about cooking with friends for friends.
Monse left at 11ish, M.A. stayed over. I was probably asleep before 1 AM, woke up at 5 AM and was up about an hour later. It's going to be a long day. 10:06 AM
Wednesday, July 14, 2004 Getting ready
Shopped, cooked, ate, chatted.
Life at its simplest. 1:11 AM
Tuesday, July 13, 2004 Being nice, for once
Today I was in a generous mood and after seeing M.A. work his tail off at the office I graciously offered to cook for him. I made my own version of a favorite of his, penne alla siciliana, with tons of eggplant and mozzarella cheese. I vaguely remember the recipe from a restaurant (La Trattoria) in Geneva, Switzerland, and tried to reproduce it. As usual I cooked enough food to feed a small village. He'd better be hungry tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and the day after the day after tomorrow. We also drank an excellent red wine he had brought me last time he was here and finished off with some baklava, another favorite of his. The good thing about feeding this man is that you would think I was Daniel Boulud. It does not take a lot to make him puppy-like happy.
In the meantime we finally decided on the guest list, the menu and the shopping list for a party on Friday. It was not as easy as it sounds because it's for coworkers and it's always very hard to come up with a diverse group of people while trying not to offend anyone and bearing in mind that it's physically impossible to invite everybody. The fact is I am on a personal crusade against some quite depressing attitudes we have been having. I think we tend to behave like high-school kids. We go to the cafeteria and we don't want uncool people at our table. Same popularity shit. It's truly a disgrace and we should feel ashamed of ourselves. I, for one, am very ashamed. I think we leave a lot of good people behind. I think we can so damn snotty and judgmental it's pathetic. Basically, I think something needs to be done.
Sunday, July 11, 2004 He's the one
I've found my future plastic surgeon: Dr. Robert Rey, in Beverly Hills.
I am watching him on E! and the guy rocks. I am totally impressed. Now lets start saving. 10:51 PM
0 comments Spiderman 2 sucks
I can't believe the reviews at rottentomatoes.com! I hated every minute of it. Hated it with a passion. I was feeling claustrophobic and would have left half an hour into the movie had the theater exit being any nearer. I had liked Spiderman I and was looking forward to part II. I read the reviews and they were all favorable. Now I think people should lay off the booze and the drugs. It's like we saw a different flick. I went in expecting an action movie, instead I got a loser's love story and half-a-dozen boring personal crisis or more like the same personal crisis rehashed over and over again. I got fed up with Tony Maguire tear-brimming eyes and whiny voice. Kristen Dunst is as expressive as a kneecap. The dialogues were alternateilevly corny and crappy. Even the special effects sucked. Phony phony phony. Not entertaining at all. Finally I started dozing off but M.A. woke me up. Now that I come to think of it and knowing that he hated the movie as much as I did I have to question his motives. It was probably envy. Such an ugly feeling. He could not stand to see me happily snoring away. He had to see me suffer. Another girl who was with us, Ornella, said she liked the movie though the explanation was somewhat convoluted, something about the meaning of life and the fact that one cannot have it all. Hu? It was Spiderman, for chrissake!!!!!! Most surprising to me and vaguely disturbing, Nicolas liked it too. I just don't get it - we tend to agree on these matters! Is he losing it too?
Fortunately before going to the movies the day had been close to perfect. Great weather, drinks and lunch with M.A. at the Boathouse in Central Park, laying out on the grass post-lunch, cabbying up to Harlem to see an apartment and playing pool while waiting for the owner to come home to show it to us. Then midtown again for dinner with Francia and Nicolas. It was then and only then than disaster struck. I am done with movie critics. Forever. I swear.
Today was totally different. A lazy Sunday, a day of doing nothing. I spent the whole morning on the phone with different friends. By the time M.A. showed up I thought I was all talked out. Amazingly, I was not. We had lunch and a the usual lively conversation on the sidewalk terrace of a nearby Italian restaurant before splitting. I came back home to the AC, People Magazine and probably a long bath in a little while. Ahhh ... 7:45 PM
Friday, July 09, 2004 Blame the hormones
This time it caught me by surprise. I am the kind of woman who is totally controlled by hormones. Ups, downs, swings. Today I was so damn tired I could not even envision going out. That is a very real definition of exhaustion for me. I also had a completely useless day at work. I probably produced a couple of lines, certainly not more. Then I looked at myself in the mirror and I almost shrieked. That green pallor that I get on those days, the dark circles around the eyes. You would think that I can read the signs by now. Nope, I still can't. What a moron. So I went and had my fingernails and toenails done (there was a guy at the nail shop - I am starting to resent these metrosexuals invading one of the last girlie bastions and I do not need to see hairy feet being massaged or masculine toenails being painted) while I waited for M.A. to be done at the gym or for the gym to be done with him. Then we had a quiet dinner at home. Sorry, I have to take that back. FIrst of all we were planning on a hefty pasta dinner but changed our minds and opted for a snack. And second it was anything but quiet. I talked the poor guy's ears off. I could see his eyes glazing over and I just kept going and going. The off button was malfunctioning. Now I'll have to shut up for at least a week.
After he left, or should I say "escaped", I watched Tony's Reclaiming your True Identity DVD. Absolutely spectacular. Nobody will believe me of course because I am part of the cult, but it is truly fantastic work. Hopefully Cloe Madanes , as a very well respected therapist, will help mainstream Tony.
Don wrote. He might come visit in August.
I need to sleep. Can't find the off button again. 1:22 AM
Wednesday, July 07, 2004
Yesterday repeat. Different restaurant though.
Tomorrow it's Thursday, the start of the week-end in my mind.
Friday we'll probably go dancing. Some extreme bowling is in the making too.
I am now watching the Real World San Diego reunion show. How grown-up of me. 11:21 PM
Just back from drinks and dinner with M.A. We did go out yesterday too, with Monse and Nicolas and it was OK but today we slipped back into our old true and tried routine again. Home from work, a drink and out for dinner. Non stop conversation. Feels very comfortable and it sure is great to have a real dialogue. We hardly talked about anybody else, which is very refreshing. It's mostly about things that matter and the world in general. Politics, morals, the works. Animated debate. A little confrontation. Fun. And on the subject of debate, I can't but point out the article by Cristopher Hitchens (yes, the guy who dared speak up against that stupid Mother Theresa) on Farenheit 9/11. I totally despise Moore and I for one am standing up and clapping. He's no better than Bill O'Reilly. He's the same kind of bully, only from the other side. I resent being boxed. It's either I acclaim Moore as a courageous rebel (oh, pleeze! spare me!) or else I accept be counted as a Bush enthusiast. Well, I can't stand that populist pompous demagogue and I sure would not be caught dead praising Mr. Bush. It's kind of the same with the abortion issue. You're either pro choice and hence liberated, feminist, progressive, etc. or a pro lifer conservative fundamentalist Christian. Well fuck you. I am neither. Nat Hentoff is my man. Boy how I hate to be labeled! 12:30 AM
Monday, July 05, 2004 Very slow week-end and ode to the geek
I can't remember what I did on Friday, which means probably squat. Thursday night I worked late but managed to squeeze in half an hour at Marc's to look at pictures of way back when (specifically, when he was living in China, working for a radio and dancing at the local Hard Rock Cafes). Saturday I took Derek's class (new choreography, not difficult but very fast, a lot of fun) and then went shopping on my way home, in my drenching wet workout clothes. Managed to squander more money on ill fitting stuff. Got home, took a nice long bath and then slept most of the afternoon. And then it was the 4th of July. I had the choice between a picnic with Cecilia and her family downtown ( Lyle Lovett was giving a free concert) or to go see Farenheit 9/11 and then have dinner at America with Sanjida and her group. I chose to stay home, play around with clay for a while, eat a whole container of strawberry cheesecake ice-cream and try to get a pedicure only to find the place closed. So I did the next best thing, bought a couple of different hair-colors and proceeded to do a little highlighting.
I worked the evening shift this past week. The guy in charge of the shift is our resident geek, somebody who is not very well liked and I can't figure out why. He's actually one of my favorite people. Not only I like him very much, but I owe him big time. If he had not opened the door to geek kingdom to me I would probably be dead by boredom by now. He's socially awkward and kind of shy so people think he's full of it. I find him to be funny in an uptight way. And he is a great guy.
It's a national holiday today. I planned on having a fully hedonistic day but I guess all the women left in Manhattan for the week-end had the same idea and all the nail shops in the neighborhood are packed. I did get a massage though. M.A.'s plane should have landed by now. He's in town for a couple of months this time. I am looking forward to the easy conversations, the great food and the bar hopping.
Hey! I am watching some best of Ricki Lake and there's the ex couple fromcutecouple.com . Small world. 4:23 PM
Thursday, July 01, 2004
The braces came off. I love my teeth! Try and make me stop grinning now! 12:45 PM